By Paul Olson
|
TEN COMMANDMENTS
OF REMODELING |
ONE:
Be reasonable in your expectations and expect the unexpected.
(Really two commandments, but it wouldn’t fit the biblical
model otherwise.) Every job has its problems. There was only one
perfect carpenter and he was promoted to divinity.
TWO:
Don’t demand Perfection (with a capital “P”).
One of my mentors once told me, “I can build any project
96% perfect. For a LOT more money I can get it 98% perfect…but
no one can get it 100% perfect.”
THREE:
Consider the process an adventure! I often refer to the experience
as “camping out” and ever since my Boy Scout days
there hasn’t been one outdoor experience that I haven’t
asked myself, “Why am I doing this?”
FOUR:
Sign with a reputable remodeling contractor. (If he tells you
remodeling is “fun” show ‘im the door.)
FIVE:
Ask questions before you sign, and ask some more before the
job starts. Our job as the contractor is to educate as well
as “entertain.”
SIX:
Make a “haven” for yourself. Set up a place to get
away from the chaos and dust and to maintain as normal a
schedule as you can.
SEVEN:
Batten down the hatches. Send drapes to the cleaner; cover high
tech gear; store breakables; remove art from walls around the
work area; set up a temporary kitchen; make arrangements for
the animals; transplant valued plants; plan on cleaning the
carpets and furniture after the work is done.
EIGHT:
Schedule a vacation (or two).
NINE:
Delegate a spokesperson who will be primarily responsible for
communicating with the contractor.
TEN:
Keep the goal in sight. Put the plans showing the finished project
on the refrigerator where you can see them daily. They are the
light at the end of the tunnel. You will survive remodeling
fever. |
In the last twenty-five
years as a contractor I have inflicted literally hundreds of people
with “remodeling fever,” the malaise that besets the healthiest
homeowners once the dust starts flying. Some were even doctors, nurses,
pharmacists, medical technicians and paramedics, yet they found, despite
their medical expertise, that there is no real cure — you just
have to tough it out. However, the universal result of the malady
was a much happier home than before.
I can empathize
with the victims of this dread disease, for I too am a survivor. My
wife and I remodeled our first home in Seattle continuously for eight
years, and I understand the funk that besets the most optimistic patient.
The house looks like a bombed-out ruin and the family is huddled in
a makeshift kitchen in the basement surrounded by dust-covered boxes
of foodstuffs and stacks of disheveled dishes.
My least favorite
memory of those years was when we were just beginning the kitchen
remodel phase, and the room looked like a plywood wasteland. We had
removed the cabinets and all the appliances including the kitchen
sink. My wife was relegated to doing the dishes by hand in the bathtub
while trying to fend off our eighteen-month son and tend to our newborn
daughter. Why we decided to remodel the kitchen at that time is a
tale too bizarre to tell. Once I had received free tickets to a Seahawk/Raider
game and decided to take our six year old instead of putting our kitchen/life
back together. Hormonal tidal waves began coursing through her postpartum
psyche. The harder I tried to rationalize my decision the more crazed
my poor wife became. I fought back admirably, but she hurled barbed
invectives like ninja stars and pinned me to the barren wall like
an upper cabinet. I finally realized my folly and gave the tickets
to my brother-in-law.
As humorous as
this story is — now — it portrays the depths of emotions
that can accompany a remodeling project. The disorientation and inconvenience
gets to almost everyone eventually. The person considering a remodel
should do some serious soul-searching and consider carefully, the
Ten Commandments of Remodeling.
Paul Olson
is the owner of Skandia Design and Remodeling in Clackamas, Oregon.
www.skandiaremodeling.com |
